Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I’ve been thinking about a Thanksgiving that I spent a few years back with an ex that I think of my Big Love. We planned and cooked the meal together. In fact, he was the head cook and I was more like the assistant. He made the most perfect apple pie that I have ever tasted.
Sometime during that perfect day, something slipped out of place and we were never able to get it exactly right again. We – we both had our kids – were all piled on the couch together and he whispered something to me about wanting to go get high. I was shocked and disppointed. What part of the day, what part of our being a family together, made him feel the need to go sit in his car, spot some pot, and isolate himself from everyone else? Was it too much love, too much togetherness?
I’ve been talking to that ex lately. It’s been a year since we broke up (well, not exactly broke up, broke contact would be more accurate) and even though we are just friends, I can tell that there is still something there. It bothers me that we are not together and I feel that caring about him is what makes me want to date, date, date and not get serious with anyone.
I feel like I’m waiting something out. I’m waiting for him to make changes that he will make at some point, because he can’t go on the way he is indefinitely. I don’t know if I will still be single at that time (not that it would matter, I would still want him, I think. Damn). As much as the whole smoking pot thing bothers me, I feel like my place is beside that man. He was my first love and I never stopped caring about him. Not through a marriage to someone else and a live-in relationship with another man.
I think we’ll be together when we are really old and he will still make the best apple pie that I’ve ever tasted.
Sometimes I think too much.
“Jim” wanted to take me out to lunch last weekend, but I had previous plans and asked to postpone to the following weekend. Monday morning I got an email from him saying that he met someone special over the weekend and that he was removing his profile from the start. He asked me out on Thursday and by Monday he was in a committed relationship with another person.
*When you find someone who catches your interest and you are attempting to make that intial contact, keep your message short and sweet.
Even so, I got a few responses from guys who have no pictures up (why do they do that?) and I’ve be favorited by two men.
My now ex, whom I will call W, texted me over and over telling me how horrible I am, how I talked too much about my teenage daughter when we spoke on the phone, that I made him feel bad about himself, that I was not the good ex that I told him I was to my past exes.
In the meantime, my previous ex’s girlfriend found out that we were building a friendship and she got upset. I explained that we were only friends, that we talked kids, cooking, and family, but it did not matter and now he’s pulled out of our lives again. It hurt my older daughter’s feelings, but my younger daughter is the one that I worry about. She loves him. How threatening can two kids be? 
*How did you come up with the idea to do a seasonal date idea book?
