Here are a few quick rules that I’ve learned from All the Rules….
*Men value that which they have to work for
This makes sense. They like the hunt. No big surprise – our mothers told us from the beginning to play hard to get. Mom was right.
*Be a “creature unlike any other”
I like this one. We have to be unique and complete in our life before we are ready for a man. The idea of another person completing you is a dangerous line in a movie. Sure, I loved it when Tom said it, too, but the reality is that things can change, relationships can fall apart. I do not want to be left with half of a life ever again. I want a full life that is complimented by a partnership with another person…….okay, I guess that the world “partnership” goes with “complete me.” Obviously, I’m still working on this one. I don’t have the answers yet – just a whole lot of questions and about an ounce of insight.
*Don’t look like you are looking
Actually, they don’t want you to look at all. Don’t stare.
In the Rules, eye contact is kind of frowned on, which makes no sense to me. I’ve researched and written enough about body language to know that it’s a basic human response to another attractive person.
I’m going to play it cool, but I’ll stick with my tried and true eye contact followed by smile response.
Image credit: Annie
No new dates lately. I think I already dated the only guy anywhere near my age, in my part of the state. Lots of old guys out there. I have nothing against old guys. I look forward to spending time with them when I’m an old gal, but I am not there yet.
I ordered a couple of books. The first is a book that a friend of mine swears by. All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.
So far I’ve read a page or two of the intro. I’ll probably be quoting it here soon – both the good and the bad parts. I don’t want to “play games,” but apparently men like a little of that. They want to feel like they’ve got to work for us. Silly boys.
Have you read The Rules? What do you think about the book?
Have you read He’s Just Not That Into You?
Now, that’s a useful book. I wish I could give copy to every woman out there. We make so many excuses and put up with so much crap, when really he’s just not that into us and we’d be better off on our own, where Mr. Right could actually find us.
I’m rereading He’s Just Not That Into You right now. I’m seeing so much of my most recent ex in there. The funny thing is that he thought he was into me, but in reality, not so much. We text and I can tell he wants to try again, but why? I’m not going to be a different person, he’s not going to suddenly be into me after all.
Okay, time to get reading.
Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com
The other day I found this post about Cherie Burbach’s book, Date Ideas for Every Season. I very much enjoyed Cherie’s book, Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza, plus I count her as a friend, so I decided to hit her up for an interview. Luckily, she said yes.
*How did you come up with the idea to do a seasonal date idea book?
I get a lot of questions from daters and one of the most common things they ask is about date ideas. I thought it might be nice to give them one place where they could find a bunch of ideas, regardless of what season we are in or where you live. Sometimes that’s just the hardest thing – when you finally get the courage to ask someone out, then you go through the momentary “panic” of figuring out what to do together. You want to make a good impression and provide a setting that will allow you both to relax and get to know each other.
So the book has date ideas for each of the four seasons, but also things like a quick list of 101 dates, date ideas for dog lovers, and that all-important day for romance: Valentine’s Day.
*I see that you mention date ideas that don’t require a lot of money. Is it possible to impress a date without spending a lot of money?
Absolutely! The key to a great date is an environment where both people can be themselves. Part of dating is just getting to know each other. In times like this, when the economy is making us all tighten our belts, daters need to be creative to do something fun without spending a lot of coin.
You don’t need to spend a lot to impress a date, but you do need to be gracious and fun. When daters usually complain that their date didn’t take them somewhere nice or spend a lot of money, what they are saying is that the date didn’t treat them well. But in reality, if someone has wonderful conversation skills and gives their date the full attention, they can have a blast regardless of what they do.
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